Real Talk: I'm freaking out about...

I was going to tweet about tomorrow's race, but once I hit the character limit I thought, "you have a blog. Why not use it?" So, hello and welcome to my blog post:

I'M FREAKING OUT ABOUT CAP CITY 

Let me begin by saying, I'm not freaking out about running 13.1 miles. I can do that. I know it'll take me anywhere between 2:00-2:20 on a decent day. I have two friends pacing the 2:20 group, so if all else fails I can stick with them and enjoy the 10:40 pace.

I'm freaking out for a few reasons.

1. Cap City is my kryptonite. I've only run it twice, but both times I've crashed and burned somewhere between mile 9 and 10. I excuse 2014 because that was my first half, but 2015 was all mental. Yes, I was sick, but I wasn't dying. I used the sickness as a crutch and walked way too soon.

2. If I walk during this race, it's over. I know some people do really well with run/walk or walking the water stops, but I am not one of those people. My best halves have been running the entire time. From 1:58 to 2:08, my PRs started happening because I wouldn't let myself stop. I've run a 2:01 once with lots of walk stops, but then i just felt like crap after because I probably could have sub-2'd even if I ran a slower pace.

3. Last week I ran a surprise 10k PR. By A LOT and with two "slower" miles. I honestly didn't think I could run so close to my 5k pace in a 10k. I think most of it had to do with Megan and wanting to stick with her even when it got hard. I repeated my mantras "faster you run, faster it's done" and "just 9 more minutes" and after we crossed the line my legs hurt, but I wasn't tired. I still had energy. But how much?

4. I'm so afraid of running with pacers at Cap City. I've tried twice and the first time I went out ahead of the group and the second time I ran with the group, but they were going about :30/mi too fast and I burnt out. The Missoula Half pacers did something similar and I kept them in my sights, caught up, then eventually passed and finished a few minute before them. Ideally, I'd do something like that. Take it "slow" at first, then speed up. You know, how you're supposed to run a race.

5. I don't really have a 5. I guess the junk that's left inside is:

What if I CAN run faster than 1:55?
I think I probably can.
Will it be tomorrow?
I've only trained for 6 weeks! But I have a solid base of strength and HIIT now.
I'm not in peak shape, but I've got to be in better shape than when I lived in Ohio.
Altitude training may carry me!
Or not.
I should run this conservatively and then set my sights on the Missoula Half in July. By then I'll have a bunch of trail miles under my belt.
But what if that race is really hot? I do better in chilly temps!
OH LORD, what will I wear tomorrow?!

And so on...

I haven't felt like this before a race in a while. Probably because I've been running for fun since my knee started bugging me 7 months ago. I didn't intend to race this, so maybe that's why I'm freaking out. I know I can sub-2 if the stars align. Heck, even if they don't I should be able to do it. But will I?

If you read this, thanks. If you didn't, that's ok, too. Who wants to hear someone else whine unless you're in the same boat? ;)

Sorry for typos, time to grab pizza...

xoxo


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